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NWL Gazette Graphic

05/08/2007 Volume 2 Issue 1

The periodic newsletter of the New World Bloodbowl League


Season 2 Standings

Blue Conference
Team Name Points Wins Ties Losses Forfeitures
Tombstone Terrors 5 1 0 0 0
Wild Ones 5 1 0 0 0
Chaos Crushers 3 0 1 0 0
Darktower Slayers 3 0 1 0 0
Backwata Bashas 1 0 0 1 0
Skaven Skrewballz 1 0 0 1 0
Red Conference
Team Name Points Wins Ties Losses Forfeitures
Rage D'Homme 5 1 0 0 0
Athena's Avengers 5 1 0 0 0
Death Row Posse 5 1 0 0 0
Arabica Knights 1 0 0 1 0
Blood River Savages 1 0 0 1 0
Harbingers of Doom 1 0 0 1 0

First Heat Marked By Difficult Contests

The majority of the first heat games were very tight and difficult for the coaches. There were several upsets with the Skaven Skrewballz losing to the Wild Ones and the Harbingers of Doom being defeated by the Athena's Avengers. Several games were won or lost in the last minute, including the Tombstone Terrors overtime victory against the Backwata Bashas and the frustrating failure of the Chaos Crushers to score against the Darktower Slayers. The Amazon teams have proven particularly difficult to knock down and coaches are now reevaluating the response to these teams. It was a very exciting first heat in all respects and the coaches are looking forward to more.


NWL Season 2 Game Summary

Skaven Skrewballz VS Wild Ones - 04/01/2007

Wild Ones Won

Skaven Skrewballz 2 Touchdowns Wild Ones 3 Touchdowns

$30,000
$50,000
0 Fan Factor Change 45,000 Gate 0 Fan Factor Change 26,000 Gate

Total Gate 71,000 Fans

Total Winnings $80,000

Skaven Skrewballz Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Peyton Skabbing Jr. (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Snot Flicker (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Crusher Bloodclot (Storm Vermin) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Speedy Katpoker (Gutter Runner) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Skowl Facelicker (Linerat) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Bugger McFly (Gutter Runner) 0 1 0 0 0 0

Wild Ones Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Mylatia Treelover (Wardancer) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Bionia Oakarm (Thrower) 3 0 0 0 0 0
Pussy Longlegs (Catcher) 0 1 0 0 0 1
Velorian Barkskin (Lineelf) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Toldrien Oakshade (Lineelf) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Sieran Highhair (Lineelf) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Tympyre Leafeater (Lineelf) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Plafrion Horserider (Lineelf) 0 1 0 0 0 1
Valen Bushtrasher (Lineelf) 0 0 0 1 0 0

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Skaven Skrewballz lost 2 to 3 to the wily Wild Ones. Despite the fact the Wild Ones had Bribed the Referee, Sieran Highhair (the team Dirty Tricker) was kept out of most of the game due to a Knock Out by Lefty Neebiter. Sieran entered the game late and made a key Dirty Trick removing Shifty Garbageater from play and denying the opportunity to score. The weather was Sunny for an early portion of the day, but the glare moderated quickly. The game was a brutal sparring match of wits and the Skaven Skrewballz coach was plagued with the throwing failures.

Skaven Skrewballz Notes

The Skaven Skrewballz added a new Linerat named Skabby Upchuck. Pinky Whiptail is expected to miss the next game.

Wild Ones Notes

The Wild Ones Tympyre Leafeater gained Block.



Rage D'Homme VS Arabica Knights - 04/05/2007

Rage D'Homme Won

Rage D'Homme 1 Touchdowns Arabica Knights 0 Touchdowns

$100,000
$60,000
0 Fan Factor Change 32,000 Gate 0 Fan Factor Change 29,000 Gate

Total Gate 61,000 Fans

Total Winnings $160,000

Rage D'Homme Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Taser Marcella (Thrower) 0 0 1 0 0 0
Meri Dead I (Thrower) 0 0 0 2 1 0
Canne Fields (Linewoman) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Yetta Meeta (Blitzer) 0 1 0 0 0 0

Arabica Knights Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Duke Sanani (Dragon Warrior) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Prince Mocha (Lineelf) 1 0 0 0 0 0

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

Rage D'Homme defeated the Arabica Knights 1 to 0 in a game of brutal blocking, with the Knights taking most of the beating. Duke Sanani, the Arabica Knights Dragon Warrior received a broken jaw at the hands of Meri Dead I, the Rage D'Homme Thrower. By the end of the game only 5 of the Knights remained standing. The game was rife with failed passes. Rage D'Homme had 4 failed passes and Arabica Knights had one failed pass and an intercepted pass. The Knights valiantly battled the Rage, but could not quite muster a victory.

Rage D'Homme Notes

Rage D'Homme's Meri Dead I gained Kick and the team hired an Apothecary.

Arabica Knights Notes

The Arabica Knights hired an Apothecary.



Harbingers of Doom VS Athena's Avengers - 04/14/2007

Athena's Avengers Won

Harbingers of Doom 0 Touchdowns Athena's Avengers 1 Touchdowns

$20,000
$50,000
0 Fan Factor Change 27,000 Gate 0 Fan Factor Change 29,000 Gate

Total Gate 56,000 Fans

Total Winnings $70,000

Harbingers of Doom Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
John El-Whack (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Simon Sez-Die (Lineman) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Tad Irving (Lineman) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Curly Zonker (Catcher) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Brock Idaho (Thrower) 0 0 0 0 0 1

Athena's Avengers Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Mariann White (Linewoman) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Aphrodite (Blitzer) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Arachne (Blitzer) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Ellen Wilson (Linewoman) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Tori Whipple (Linewoman) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Arcadia (Blitzer) 0 0 0 0 0 1

Graveyard Entries

Player Name Team Name Cause Of Death Slayer Name Slayer Team
Sarah Smith Athena's Avengers Block Tad Irving Harbingers of Doom

Game Notes

The Harbingers of Doom were defeated 0 to 1 by Athena's Avengers in a hard shoving match that involved little ball movement and harsh blocking. The Amazons proved to be very difficult to knock down! The game was played in nice weather. Warren Zapp of the Harbingers missed the game due to being arrested for rowdy pre-game behavior. Both teams had a player caught for using dirty tricks. The Doom took the ball to the midfield, where it remained for most of the first half. In the last turn a sprint failed to score. The Avengers used their numbers advantage to good effect in the second half, moving the ball slowly up the field. The Harbingers were plagued by poor performance from some of their best blockers. One unruly fan threw a rock and broke the jaw of Jon El-Whack removing him from the game at the beginning of the second half. El-Whack is expected to miss the next game.

Harbingers of Doom Notes

The Harbingers of Doom purchased a re-roll and Jon El-Whack is expected to miss the next game. Simon Sazdie acquired Dirty Player.

Athena's Avengers Notes

The Athena's Avengers Sarah Smith was killed blocking by Tad Irving. The Avengers hired Karen Jones, a Linewoman.



Tombstone Terrors VS Backwata Bashas - 04/22/2007

Tombstone Terrors Won

Tombstone Terrors 3 Touchdowns Backwata Bashas 2 Touchdowns

$60,000
$20,000
-1 Fan Factor Change 41,000 Gate +1 Fan Factor Change 27,000 Gate

Total Gate 68,000 Fans

Total Winnings $80,000

Tombstone Terrors Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Tim Terror (Wight) 0 2 0 0 0 0
Foul Nosecurler (Wight) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Rotting Ramses (Mummy) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Nashing Norman (Ghoul) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Tony Toebiter (Ghoul) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Bonechewer Jones (Ghoul) 2 1 0 0 0 0
Oozing Oscar (Ghoul) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Fornire Derigorn (Zombie) 0 0 0 0 1 0

Backwata Bashas Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Slimy (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Horny (Black Orc Blocker) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Stupid (Lineorc) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Sleazy (Goblin) 0 2 0 0 1 0
Angry (Black Orc Blocker) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Hairy (Blitzer) 1 0 0 1 0 0
Sloppy (Blitzer) 0 0 0 0 0 1

Graveyard Entries

Player Name Team Name Cause Of Death Slayer Name Slayer Team
Boney Backstabber Tombstone Terrors Block Stupid Backwata Bashas

Game Notes

The Tombstone Terrors defeated the Backwata Bashas in a nail-biting contest of wills and brawn. Despite the usual relentlessly viscous blocking of the Bashas, the Terrors were able to wrest a victory from their grasp in sudden death overtime. Hairy, a Backwata Bashas Blitzer injured Oozing Oscar, a Tombstone Terrors Ghoul. The Bashas knocked Boney Backstaber around so badly that he failed to Regenerate and was slain. Tim Terror ran the ball into the end zone to win the game, scoring his second touchdown. The game was played in very sunny weather. Nashing Norman, a Tombstone Terrors Ghoul, was ejected from play for fouling a player.

Tombstone Terrors Notes

The Tombstone Terrors had three star player gains. Tim Terror gained Dodge, Bonechewer Jones gained Sidestep, and Fornire Derigorn gained Block. The Tombstone Terrors hired Decaying Dan, a Zombie. The Terrors also had three niggling injuries. Bonechwer Jones and Fornire Derigorn both suffered niggling injuries from ageing. Oozing Oscar suffered from a smashed knee and is expected to miss the next game.

Backwata Bashas Notes

The Backwata Bashas had three star player gains. Horny gained a +1 strength, Sleazy gained a +1 Movement, and Angry gained Block. Dim was injured by Rotting Ramses and is expected to miss the next game.



Deathrow Posse VS Blood River Savages - 04/22/2007

Deathrow Posse Won

Deathrow Posse 3 Touchdowns Blood River Savages 0 Touchdowns

$40,000
$60,000
0 Fan Factor Change 32,000 Gate +1 Fan Factor Change 36,000 Gate

Total Gate 68,000 Fans

Total Winnings $100,000

Deathrow Posse Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Handsome Jack (Catcher) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Twitch (Catcher) 0 2 0 0 0 0
Freaky Frank (Lineman) 0 0 0 0 1 0

Blood River Savages Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Tuff Skul (Lineorc) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Smash Skul (Lineorc) 0 0 0 0 1 1
Lip Flappa (Lineorc) 0 0 0 1 0 0

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Death Row Posse defeated the Blood River Savages cruising past them in an easy 3-0 victory. Despite the outstanding blocking by their front line, made mostly of stout Black Orcs, the Savages could not stop the human catchers from zipping around them and getting to the ball, no matter how deep it was in the Orcs' side of the pitch. Posse Catchers ruled the day as they scored the only points in the game, demonstrating just how deadly speed can be. The Savages were brutal, leaving only one Posse catcher on the pitch at some points during the second half. Despite strong blocking the Savages did not do enough damage to get the Posse's apothecary off the sidelines. Crazy Clyde, the Posse's lone guard gave the Savages' blocking coach fits. Both sides were plagued with impatience to get to the bloodshed and were called on a combined 6 illegal procedures.

Deathrow Posse Notes

The Deathrow Posse had two star player gains. Twitch gained Leap and Freaky Frank gained +1 Agility.

Blood River Savages Notes

The Blood River Savages hired a new Blitzer, Grabba Balz.



Darktower Slayers VS Chaos Crushers - 05/06/2007

Tied game

Darktower Slayers 2 Touchdowns Chaos Crushers 2 Touchdowns

$60,000
$80,000
0 Fan Factor Change 35,000 Gate 0 Fan Factor Change 41,000 Gate

Total Gate 76,000 Fans

Total Winnings $140,000

Darktower Slayers Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Targ Bonebreaka (Blitzer) 0 2 0 1 0 0
Narg Rockbreaka (Blitzer) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Kalreg Da Knocka (Black Orc Blocker) 0 0 0 0 0 2

Chaos Crushers Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Bob Smith (Beastman) 0 0 1 0 0 0
Horus Braineater (Beastman) 2 0 0 0 0 0
Morgan Claw (Beastman) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Rabar One Eye (Beastman) 0 2 0 0 1 0
Terrance Terror (Chaos Warrior) 0 0 0 1 0 0

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Darktower Slayers wrestled the Chaos Crushers to a 2 to 2 standstill in Overtime. The Crushers were unable to pickup the ball in the Slayers end zone several times in the final turns of play. Both teams engaged in Dirty Ticks during the first half. The Chaos Crushers Beastman Morgan Claw was caught fouling Zhag Da Bolta, a Darktower Slayers Thrower, and was ejected from the game. The Slayers Kalreg Da Knocka, a Black Orc Blocker, was ejected after his second foul of the game, while kicking Merl Spikeman, a Crushers Beastman. Despite strong blocking there were few casualties and no deaths. The game was played in a series of tough scrums with both sides struggling for ground. Despite being out on a bender all night Targ Bonebreaka managed to score the 2 Touchdowns for the Darktower Slayers. He did fail to act in a key play due to his poor condition. Rabar One Eye, a Beastman, scored the 2 Chaos Crushers Touchdows of the game.

Darktower Slayers Notes

The Darktower Slayer had one Star Player gain with Narg Rockbeaka, a Blitzer, gaining Guard. Taleg Fangnasha, a Lineorc, suffered a smashed hand and is expected to miss the next game. The Slayers hired two line orcs, Grezag Ballbreaka and Shadag Facerippa. Lorg the Sneaka and Sliva Squigeata, the team goblins, were retired.

Chaos Crushers Notes

The Chaos Crushers purchased a re-roll. Grak Grimm, a beastman, is expected to miss the next game.


Most Improved NWL Coach

The New World League Coaches Association is pleased to announce the winner of the Season One Todd Pursel Coaching Award. The category this past season was for Most Improved Coach as determined at the annual awards dinner. The award was presented to Andrew V. for his performance last season as the coach of the Harbingers of Doom. The award was presented to him in a short ceremony this past Sunday.


Echoes From The Dugout

The following letter was found in the trash outside the commissioners office at NWL headquarters.

Dear Mr. Commissioner,

Please note the following roster changes for the Harbingers of Doom for the upcoming season.

Due to their proclivity to warming the bench and whining about the arterial bleeding they tended to suffer, numbers 9 and 13 (Ronnie Little and Bubba) have been cut from the team. Their presence in the locker room was deemed such a cancer that not only are they not held on as coaches, they have been banned for life from all future Harbingers' functions, including games, retirement ceremonies, as well as the yearly pig roast and keg toss held at the owners ranch held for all players, past and present. Their names are to be stricken from the record books and mentioned only in passing, and then only to reference how much better the team is without them on it.

Thank You

Greasy McGoo, Esc.
Public Relations

Headquarters of Doom
1 Doom Plaza
Capitol City, DM 66666


The information presented here is fictional. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.


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