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NWL Gazette Graphic

09/03/2007 Volume 2 Issue 4

The periodic newsletter of the New World Bloodbowl League


Season 2 Standings

Blue Conference
Team Name Points Wins Ties Losses Forfeitures
Wild Ones 20 4 0 0 0
Tombstone Terrors 16 3 0 1 0
Skaven Skrewballz 16 3 0 1 0
Backwata Bashas 8 1 0 3 0
Chaos Crushers 6 0 1 3 0
Darktower Slayers 6 0 1 3 0
Red Conference
Team Name Points Wins Ties Losses Forfeitures
Deathrow Posse 20 4 0 0 0
Rage D'Homme 12 2 0 2 0
Athena's Avengers 12 2 0 2 0
Harbingers of Doom 12 2 0 2 0
Blood River Savages 10 1 1 2 0
Arabica Knights 6 0 1 3 0

Another Undefeated Team Falls!

The Skaven Skrewballz knocked the Tombstone Terrors from the pillar of undefeated status this heat. The number of undefeated teams is rapidly dwindling. The fans are interested to see who might maintain an undefeated record as the second round draws near.

Please do not miss the amusing Blood Bowl Minute transcript included after the game summaries!


NWL Season 2 Game Summary

Harbingers of Doom VS Rage D'Homme - 08/25/2007

Harbingers of Doom Won

Harbingers of Doom 3 Touchdowns Rage D'Homme 0 Touchdowns

$90,000
$40,000
+1 Fan Factor Change 30,000 Gate 0 Fan Factor Change 38,000 Gate

Total Gate 68,000 Fans

Total Winnings $130,000

Harbingers of Doom Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
John El-Whack (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 1 0
Razor Lewis (Blitzer) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Warren Zapp (Blitzer) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Butch Green Jr. (Lineman) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Simon Sez-Die (Lineman) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Moe Zonker (Catcher) 0 1 0 0 0 0

Rage D'Homme Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Canne Fields (Linewoman) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Hom Lee-G (Blitzer) 0 0 0 1 0 0
White Lotus (Linewoman) 0 0 0 0 1 0

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Harbingers of Doom defeated Rage D'Homme with a strong running game. The Rage had a number of ball handling issues and the Doom were able to capitalize on this. Rage D'Homme caused the only casualties of the game, but with the help of the team apothecary the results were not catastrophic for the Harbingers of Doom. Both teams had some difficulties recovering from K.O. results prior to a kickoff and 5 players remained out of play between the two teams.

Harbingers of Doom Notes

The Harbingers of Doom had 4 Star Player gains. Razor Lewis, a Blitzer, gained Tackle and suffered a 1 Agility due to ageing effects. Warren Zapp, a Blitzer gained Tackle, Butch Green J.R., a Lineman, gained Block, and Moe Zonker, a Catcher, gained Dauntless. Butch Green received a fractured arm and is expected to miss the next game. Two players were added to the roster: Ozzy Gruesome, a Cather, and O.J. Stabson, a Lineman.

Rage D'Homme Notes

The Rage D'Homme had a single Star player gain with White Lotus, a Linewoman, acquiring Block. The Rage also purchased a Re-Roll.



Backwata Bashas VS Darktower Slayers - 08/25/2007

Backwata Bashas Won

Backwata Bashas 2 Touchdowns Darktower Slayers 0 Touchdowns

$40,000
$10,000
0 Fan Factor Change 19,000 Gate 0 Fan Factor Change 34,000 Gate

Total Gate 53,000 Fans

Total Winnings $50,000

Backwata Bashas Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Slimy (Thrower) 0 2 0 0 0 0
Ornery (Black Orc Blocker) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Stupid (Lineorc) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Meany (Thrower) 0 0 0 0 0 1

Darktower Slayers Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Narg Rockbreaka (Blitzer) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Ahgza Elfeata (Black Orc Blocker) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Gurzag Whiparm (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 0 0

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Backwata Bashas defeated the Darktower Slayers in a strongly played power play contest. The game was marked by a lack of casualties and was played in Very Sunny Weather. The Slayers obtained I Am The Greatest as a handicap result. Due to this Sloppy and Hair, both Blitzers, refused to be on the filed at the same time. The Darktower Slayers were not able to field a full team and began play with only 10 players partly due to the fact that Taleg Fnagnasha, a Lineorc, missed the game due to Niggling Injuries. The Slayers were down 2 other players from their prior game. The Backwata Bashas played a tight offensive game and the Slayers were not able to stem the tide.

Backwata Bashas Notes

The Backwata Bashas had had 2 Star Player gains with Slimy, a Thrower, gaining Dodge and Stupid, a Lineorc, gaining plus 1 Agility. The Bashas purchased a Re-Roll.

Darktower Slayers Notes

The Darktower Slayers had no changes.



Athena's Avengers VS Deathrow Posse - 08/25/2007

Deathrow Posse Won

Athena's Avengers 1 Touchdowns Deathrow Posse 3 Touchdowns

$80,000
$80,000
0 Fan Factor Change 33,000 Gate 0 Fan Factor Change 48,000 Gate

Total Gate 81,000 Fans

Total Winnings $160,000

Athena's Avengers Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Tori Whipple (Linewoman) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Ellen Wilson (Linewoman) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Heather Green (Linewoman) 0 0 0 0 0 1

Deathrow Posse Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Scary Mary (Catcher) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Twitch (Catcher) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Porno Bob (Thrower) 1 2 0 0 0 0
Crazy Clyde (Blitzer) 0 1 0 1 0 0
Tommy 2-Gun (Lineman) 0 0 0 1 0 0

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Athena's Avengers were defeated by the Deathrow Posse in a tough contest of wills. The Avengers received 2 handicap results. These were That Girl's Got Talent, allowing an extra Blitzer, and It Wasn't Me, causing Shank, a Deathrow Posse Blitzer, to miss the game. The Avengers Tina Witherspoon, a handicap result Blitzer, knocked Buster Balls, a Posse Blitzer, out of play with an injury. The Athena's Avenger had 1 Technical foul called against them during play. The Posse utilized strong running and passing plays to defeat the Avengers.

Athena's Avengers Notes

The Avengers had 2 Star Player gains with Torri Whipple, a Linewoman, gaining Guard and Ellen Wilson, a Linewoman, gaining +1 Agility. Arcadia, a Blitzer, received a Smashed hand resulting in a Niggling Injury. Two Linewoman were hired, Sueann Holmes and Rebecca Winters.

Deathrow Posse Notes

The Posse had 3 Star Player gains. Twitch, a Catcher, gained Block, Porno Bob, a Thrower picked up Block, and Crazy Clyde, a Blitzer gained Tackle. Shank, a Blitzer, was retired. Jupiter Jones, a Blitzer, was hired. Buster Balls, a Blitzer, is expected to miss the next game.



Tombstone Terrors VS Skaven Skrewballz - 08/26/2007

Skaven Skrewballz Won

Tombstone Terrors 2 Touchdowns Skaven Skrewballz 3 Touchdowns

$60,000
$60,000
+1 Fan Factor Change 47,000 Gate 0 Fan Factor Change 50,000 Gate

Total Gate 97,000 Fans

Total Winnings $120,000

Tombstone Terrors Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Foul Nosecurler (Wight) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Tim Terror (Wight) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Eternal Deathwalker (Mummy) 0 0 0 2 0 0
Nashing Norman (Ghoul) 1 0 0 0 0 1
Tony Toebiter (Ghoul) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Bonechewer Jones (Ghoul) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Decaying Dan (Zombie) 0 0 0 1 0 1
Skinny Backstabber (Skeleton) 0 0 0 0 0 1

Skaven Skrewballz Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Peyton Skabbing Jr. (Thrower) 2 0 0 0 0 0
Speedy Katpoker (Gutter Runner) 1 1 0 0 0 0
Norman (Storm Vermin) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Skruffy Upchuck (Linerat) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Pinky Whiptail (Gutter Runner) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Skowl Facelicker (Linerat) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Bugger McFly (Gutter Runner) 0 1 0 0 0 0

Graveyard Entries

Player Name Team Name Cause Of Death Slayer Name Slayer Team
Vomit Belcher Skaven Skrewballz Block Decaying Dan Tombstone Terrors

Game Notes

The Tombstone Terrors lost to the Skaven Skrewballz in a grueling running game. The Terrors had two handicap results. These were Doom and Gloom, which halved the Skrewballz Re-Rolls and Bad Press, which reduced the Skrewballz Fan Factor in half for the game. The Skaven Skrewballz Lefty Neebiter, a Linerat, missed the game due to a Niggling Injury. There were three incidents of a thrown Rock, with each team suffering from the result at least once. The Tombstone Terrors inflicted 4 casualties, one of which resulted in Vomit Belcher, a Linerat, becoming a Zombie. The game was a close scoring game which was tied at two up to nearly the end of the second half. The tie was broken when the Skaven Skrewballz Gutter Runner Bugger McFly caught a key pass for the winning Touchdown.

Tombstone Terrors Notes

The Tombstone Terrors had 3 Star Player gains with Foul Nosecurler, a Wight, gaining Tackle, Nashing Norman, a Ghoul, gaining Block, Gory Greg, a zombie, gaining Guard. The Terrors also purchased a Mummy, Horrorhotep.

Skaven Skrewballz Notes

The Skaven Skrewballz had 2 Star Player gains with Norman, a Storm Vermin, gaining Guard and Skruffy Upchuck, a Linerat, acquiring Kick. Skabby Upchuck, a Linerat, is expected to miss the next game due to a Fractured Arm. The team hired 2 Linerats, Hairy Eyeplucker and Mange Katskinner. Lefty Neebiter was retired.



Arabica Knights VS Blood River Savages - 08/26/2007

Tied game

Arabica Knights 1 Touchdowns Blood River Savages 1 Touchdowns

$40,000
$50,000
0 Fan Factor Change 18,000 Gate +1 Fan Factor Change 43,000 Gate

Total Gate 61,000 Fans

Total Winnings $90,000

Arabica Knights Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Phinian Brewer (Lineelf) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Baron Peaberry (Lion Warrior) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Duke Sanani (Dragon Warrior) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Prince Mocha (Lineelf) 2 0 0 0 1 0
Count Caramel (Lineelf) 0 1 0 0 0 0

Blood River Savages Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Krak Skul (Black Orc Blocker) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Bear Jaws (Black Orc Blocker) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Ruff Nek (Blitzer) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Big Gutz (Black Orc Blocker) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Nee Kappa (Lineorc) 0 0 0 1 0 1
Ball Breaka (Lineorc) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Little Gutz (Lineorc) 0 0 0 0 0 1

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Arabica Knights tied with the Blood River Savages in a tough contest that went into Overtime. The Knights obtained a single handicap result gaining Illegal Drugs. This raised the Strength of Squire Bean, a Lineelf, to 4. The Savages were plagued with ball handling problems that only got worse during overtime. The Arabica Knights had a strong passing game but were unable to push down to the opposing End Zone. The Knights demonstrated excellent blocking skills and put up a strong fight despite being down a player at the start of play.

Arabica Knights Notes

The Arabica Knights had a single Star Player gain with Prince Mocha acquiring block.

Blood River Savages Notes

The Blood River Savages had no changes.



Wild Ones VS Chaos Crushers - 09/02/2007

Wild Ones Won

Wild Ones 3 Touchdowns Chaos Crushers 1 Touchdowns

$30,000
$50,000
+1 Fan Factor Change 43,000 Gate 0 Fan Factor Change 39,000 Gate

Total Gate 82,000 Fans

Total Winnings $80,000

Wild Ones Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Thorny Nutflicker (Wardancer) 1 1 0 0 0 0
Tarla Leafblower (Thrower) 1 0 0 1 1 0
Bionia Oakarm (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Daisy Rosesniffer (Catcher) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Tympyre Leafeater (Lineelf) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Melgolas Stouttree (Lineelf) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Sieran Highhair (Lineelf) 0 0 0 0 0 8

Chaos Crushers Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Souleater Grimm (Chaos Warrior) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Merl Spikeman (Beastman) 0 0 0 0 0 2
Seth Brokenhorn (Beastman) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Horus Braineater (Beastman) 2 0 0 0 0 0
Luke (Evil One) Jones (Chaos Warrior) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Terrance Terror (Chaos Warrior) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Wally the Killing Stench (Beastman) 0 0 0 0 0 1

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Wild One defeated the chaos Crushers in a high speed running and passing contest punctuated by a large number of fouls. The Crushers committed 3 Dirty Tricks and the Wild Ones committed 8 Dirty Tricks. Sieran Highhair, a Wild Ones Lineman, committed all 8 fouls and now leads the league with 16 Dirty tricks this season. The Chaos Crushers obtained the handicap result Virus that had no effect, due to the Wild Ones lack of Niggling Injuries. The Chaos Crushers nearly killed Velorian Barkskin, a Lineman, but he was saved by the team Apothecary only to be retired at the end of the game due to a niggling injury inflicted later in play. Both sides inflicted 2 casualties.

Wild Ones Notes

The Wild Ones has 2 Star Player gains with both Tarla Leafblower, a Thrower and Daisy Rosesniffer, a Catcher, gaining Block. Velorian Barkskin, a Lineman, was retired. Plafrion Horserider, a Lineman, is expected to miss the next game.

Chaos Crushers Notes

The Chaos Crushers had 2 Star Player gains with Terrance Terror, a Chaos Warrior, growing a Claw and Luke (Evil One) Jones, a Chaos Warrior, gained Block. Terrance Terror is expected to miss the next game.


Transcript Of A Recent Blood Bowl Minute

Announcer: Today's Blood Bowl Minute with Chet Ubetcha is sponsored by No-No brand love potions, recently endorsed by Porno Bob of the Death Row Posse. Hear his testimony:

Porno Bob: You know she wants it! The chemistry is there! But she wants to play hard to get, and you are a busy guy always on the run with no time for romance. Get to the chase with No-No brand love potions. She will say yes!!

Chet: Thank you for joining me for this Blood Bowl Minute, I'm Chet Ubetcha. And speak of the devil, with me is the Death Row Posse's newest rookie thrower, Porno Bob. Hi Bob how is it going?

Bob: Oh it is going well Chet, thanks for having me. Say Chet, I am a little disappointed, I thought that you would have some girls on your staff. How come there aren't any?

Chet: We have a few on the staff, but they all called in sick today. Tough break Bob.

Bob: I like girls.

Chet: I kinda figured that. So how are you preparing for the upcoming match with Athena's Avengers?

Bob: Well Chet, I read their roster and do what the Warden tells me to do. Did you know that ALL of the players on Athena's Avengers are girls?

Chet: Yes, I know that they are all woman. Pretty tough woman I understand. Bob: Yeah, that's pretty cool. They are human too!! Do you like girls Chet?

Chet: ...Yes, I like woman. So word is from the other teams that have played them that the Amazons don't go down very easy. How does that affect your game plan?

Bob: Not much. I never found easy girls much fun anyway, I like a challenge. I think you can expect me to bring my A game. I will bring some No-No just in case. I haven't seen a real girl for quite a while now.

Chet: I think we are getting a little side tracked here, but what about Scary Mary and Hari Carri?

Bob: Oh yeah, I forgot about them, they are just one of the guys. They aren't very girly anyway. Hey, can I give a shout out?

Chet: Aaahhh ok...

Bob: I would like to say hi to Heather Green. I am your biggest fan!!! I can't wait to meet you!!!

Chet: Isn't she a linewoman for Athena's Avengers?

Bob: Yeah, Heather is my favorite girl name. You know I have had a few girlfriends named Heather?

Chet: Yes, and I understand they are all dead now.

Bob: Hey!!! They were all alive when I left them!!!! I want to kiss her. Scary and Hari like girls too.

Chet: I hesitate to say this, but your sixth game is against another Amazon team as well.

Bob: ...wait, are they all girls too!!?

Chet: Yes they are Bob.

Bob: Wow!!! That's great!!! My two favorite passions all in one. Blood Bowl and girls. Are any of them named Heather?

Chet: No. Speaking of schedules, with the shake up in the conferences due to the new expansion teams, how does the Posse feel about the new schedule?

Bob: I know that last years members like it. Playing the Skaven last season was a pain in the ass. The whole team had to be quarantined after each game before being let into general population again. A couple members of the team got Nurggle Rot. The Warden had to call in a couple of favors with the Temple Priests to get that under control.

Chet: How is the Warden as a coach.

Bob: He is great. He likes girls too. He said that if I play well, he would try and arrange for me to meet Heather in private! Heather sounds like feather. I bet her hair is soft like a feather. Have you seen the (expletive) on her!!!

Chet: Hey now!! This is a family program!!

Bob: I'm sorry Chet, I am a family minded guy myself.

Chet: Is that so?

Bob: Yeah, when I get out on appeal, I am going to marry a girl named Heather, have lots of girls, and name them all Heather.

Chet: Well thank the gods, we are out of time!!! Thank you for joining me and my guest Porno Bob. This complete waste of time has been brought to you by, No-No brand love potions! Get to the chase! See you next time.

Announcer: No-No is a trademark of the United Alchemy Guild, antidote pending, intended for novelty use only, please use responsibly.


The information presented here is fictional. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.


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