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NWL Gazette Graphic

09/25/2007 Volume 2 Issue 5

The periodic newsletter of the New World Bloodbowl League


Season 2 Standings

Blue Conference
Team Name Points Wins Ties Losses Forfeitures
Wild Ones 25 5 0 0 0
Tombstone Terrors 17 3 0 2 0
Skaven Skrewballz 17 3 0 2 0
Chaos Crushers 11 1 1 3 0
Darktower Slayers 11 1 1 3 0
Backwata Bashas 9 1 0 4 0
Red Conference
Team Name Points Wins Ties Losses Forfeitures
Deathrow Posse 25 5 0 0 0
Athena's Avengers 17 3 0 2 0
Harbingers of Doom 17 3 0 2 0
Rage D'Homme 13 2 0 3 0
Blood River Savages 11 1 1 3 0
Arabica Knights 7 0 1 4 0

First Half Of Season Completed

The exciting first half of the season has been finished. The final heat had a number of interesting games. The Darktower Slayers defeated the Skaven Skrewballz in a significant upset. The Wild Ones continue to dominate the Blue Conference and many fans wonder if they can maintain the undefeated record for the rest of the season. In the first half of this season there have been 10 fatalities which is more than the total of 9 from last season. Rumor has it that the bloodthirsty fans are calling for more blood and are disappointed with the level of Dirty Tricks. The exception to this is of course the strong following of the Wild Ones Lineelf Siren Highhair, whose personal fan base has grown exponentially.

Please do not miss the amusing Blood Bowl Minute transcript included after the game summaries!


NWL Season 2 Game Summary

Tombstone Terrors VS Wild Ones - 09/22/2007

Wild Ones Won

Tombstone Terrors 1 Touchdowns Wild Ones 3 Touchdowns

$40,000
$30,000
-1 Fan Factor Change 44,000 Gate +1 Fan Factor Change 56,000 Gate

Total Gate 100,000 Fans

Total Winnings $70,000

Tombstone Terrors Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Clawing Heartstopper (Wight) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Tim Terror (Wight) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Eternal Deathwalker (Mummy) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Bonechewer Jones (Ghoul) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Oozing Oscar (Ghoul) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Skinny Backstabber (Skeleton) 0 0 0 0 0 1

Wild Ones Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Thorny Nutflicker (Wardancer) 0 1 0 0 1 0
Mylatia Treelover (Wardancer) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Bionia Oakarm (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 0 1
Daisy Rosesniffer (Catcher) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Pussy Longlegs (Catcher) 2 1 0 0 0 0
Toldrien Oakshade (Lineelf) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Sieran Highhair (Lineelf) 0 0 0 0 0 3
Lorellon Branchbreaker (Lineelf) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Melgolas Stouttree (Lineelf) 0 0 0 0 0 1

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Tombstone Terrors were defeated by the Wild Ones in a fast moving contest of wills. The Wild Ones used linear movement, a strong passing game, and strong blocking to wrest a victory from their undead foes. The Terrors gained the handicap result Palmed Coin, automatically winning the Coin Toss. The Wild Ones inflicted no casualties. The Terrors inflicted 2 casualties, one of which resulted in a Broken Jaw for Stelogalos Stouttree, a Lineelf. Both teams had several interesting Kick Off results including Brilliant Coaching for both and Cheering fans for the Terrors. Tim Terror, a Wight, who dodged 3 times through the Tackle Zones of Thorny Nutflicker, a Wardancer, and then Sprinted twice to score, made the only touchdown for the Tombstone Terrors.

Tombstone Terrors Notes

The Tombstone Terrors had 1 Star Player gain with Clawing Heartstopper, a Wight, gaining Kick.

Wild Ones Notes

The Wild Ones had 1 Star Player gain with Thorny Nutflicker, a Wardancer, gaining Mighty Blow. Stelogalos Stouttree, a Lineelf, is expected to miss the next game.



Athena's Avengers VS Blood River Savages - 09/22/2007

Athena's Avengers Won

Athena's Avengers 2 Touchdowns Blood River Savages 0 Touchdowns

$80,000
$50,000
+1 Fan Factor Change 31,000 Gate 0 Fan Factor Change 49,000 Gate

Total Gate 80,000 Fans

Total Winnings $130,000

Athena's Avengers Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Rebecca Winters (Linewoman) 0 1 0 0 1 0
Marsha Shaw (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Arachne (Blitzer) 0 1 0 0 0 0

Blood River Savages Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Bear Jaws (Black Orc Blocker) 0 0 0 0 0 1
Ruff Nek (Blitzer) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Ball Breaka (Lineorc) 0 0 0 1 1 0

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Athena's Avengers defeated the Blood River Savages in a hard contest of maneuver. The Savages managed to inflict 2 blocking casualties, while the Avengers were able to rush and pass their way to victory. The game was punctuated by a large number of turnovers during the first half. Play took place in Nice Weather and had no Handicap results.

Athena's Avengers Notes

The Athena's Avengers had 1 Star Player gain with Rebecca Winters, a Linewoman, gaining Block. The Avengers hired Helene, a Blitzer and retired Arcadia, a Blitzer.

Blood River Savages Notes

The Blood River Savages had 1 Star Player gain with Ball Breaka, a Lineorc, gaining Block. The Savages hired a Kaz Trater, a Blitzer.



Rage D'Homme VS Deathrow Posse - 09/22/2007

Deathrow Posse Won

Rage D'Homme 1 Touchdowns Deathrow Posse 3 Touchdowns

$60,000
$20,000
0 Fan Factor Change 31,000 Gate +1 Fan Factor Change 32,000 Gate

Total Gate 63,000 Fans

Total Winnings $80,000

Rage D'Homme Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Gin Thea (Catcher) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Emberlast (Blitzer) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Canne Fields (Linewoman) 1 1 0 0 0 0

Deathrow Posse Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Handsome Jack (Catcher) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Jupiter Jones (Blitzer) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Hari Carrie (Catcher) 0 1 0 0 1 0
Deathrow Don (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Candyman (Lineman) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Porno Bob (Thrower) 2 0 0 0 0 0
Freaky Frank (Lineman) 0 0 0 1 0 0

Graveyard Entries

Player Name Team Name Cause Of Death Slayer Name Slayer Team
Shiboopee Rage D'Homme Crowd Tommy 2-Gun Deathrow Posse

Game Notes

The Rage D'Homme lost to the Deathrow Posse in a hotly contested match. Each team inflicted two blocking casualties. There was one death with Shiboopee, a Rage D'Homme Catcher, being knocked into the crowd by Tommy 2-Gun, a Deathrow Posse Lineman. The Rage had two handicap results. These were Intensive Training with Taser Marcella, a Thrower, gaining Pro temporarily and Smelling Salts, which resulted in Knocked Out Players becoming available on a roll of 2-6. The Rage D'Homme held the Deathrow Posse to a tie into the second half, but the Posse rallied and made two Touchdowns sewing up the game.

Rage D'Homme Notes

The Rage D'Homme had 1 Star Player gain with Canne Fields, a Linewoman, gaining Sure Hands. The team hired Boopee, a Catcher.

Deathrow Posse Notes

The Deathrow Posse had 1 Star Player gain with Hari Carrie, a Catcher, gaining Block.



Backwata Bashas VS Chaos Crushers - 09/22/2007

Chaos Crushers Won

Backwata Bashas 0 Touchdowns Chaos Crushers 2 Touchdowns

$10,000
$40,000
0 Fan Factor Change 20,000 Gate +1 Fan Factor Change 37,000 Gate

Total Gate 57,000 Fans

Total Winnings $50,000

Backwata Bashas Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Slimy (Thrower) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Stupid (Lineorc) 0 0 0 0 0 1

Chaos Crushers Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Orlok the Growler (Beastman) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Kor Skullcracker (Beastman) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Souleater Grimm (Chaos Warrior) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Horus Braineater (Beastman) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Rabar One Eye (Beastman) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Wally the Killing Stench (Beastman) 0 0 0 0 1 0

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Backwata Bashas lost to the Chaos Crushers in a heavy Blocking contest. The Crushers had one handicap result with Stupid, a Bashas Lineorc, refusing to be on the field at the same time as hairy, a Bashas Blitzer. Stupid was caught Dirty Tricking early in the game. The Backwata Bashas Horny, a Black Orc Blocker, missed play due to an injury. A Pitch Invasion occurred during the first kickoff. The wild fans stunned 3 of the Bashas Black Orc Blockers and 3 Crushers players, including 2 Chaos Warriors. Despite the large number of blocks no player on either team suffered injury. Despite the fact that the Backwata Bashas received the ball in the first half the Chaos Crushers managed to take possession and hold the ball, scoring in the final turn. The Crushers maintained control of the ball throughout the second half and scored after making three separate passes.

Backwata Bashas Notes

The Backwata Bashas had no changes.

Chaos Crushers Notes

The Chaos Crushers had 4 Star Player gains. Orlok The Growler, a Beastman, Souleater Grimm, a Chaos Warrior, and Rabar One Eye, a Beastman all gained Block. Kor Skullcracker, a Beastman, gained Kick.



Skaven Skrewballz VS Darktower Slayers - 09/23/2007

Darktower Slayers Won

Skaven Skrewballz 1 Touchdowns Darktower Slayers 2 Touchdowns

$30,000
$40,000
0 Fan Factor Change 37,000 Gate +1 Fan Factor Change 36,000 Gate

Total Gate 73,000 Fans

Total Winnings $70,000

Skaven Skrewballz Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Peyton Skabbing Jr. (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Shifty Garbageater (Gutter Runner) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Stinky Fartleta (Linerat) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Rip Rulebreaker (Linerat) 0 0 0 0 1 0

Darktower Slayers Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Targ Bonebreaka (Blitzer) 0 1 0 1 0 0
Nagreg Heartbreaka (Blitzer) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Narg Rockbreaka (Blitzer) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Vorag Stuntybasha (Blitzer) 0 0 0 2 0 0
Ahgza Elfeata (Black Orc Blocker) 0 0 0 0 1 0
Gurzag Whiparm (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Valg Bowelrippa (Lineorc) 0 0 0 1 0 0

Graveyard Entries

Player Name Team Name Cause Of Death Slayer Name Slayer Team
Mange Katskinner Skaven Skrewballz Block Targ Bonebreaka Darktower Slayers

Game Notes

The Skaven Skrewballz were defeated by the Darktower Slayers in a scrum heavy contest. The Slayers had 2 Handicap Results. Kalreg da Knocka, a Black Orc Blocker received Extensive Training gaining Block temporarily and Zegrik Widowmaka, a Black Orc Blocker, received Buzzing giving him Frenzy and Jump Up for the game. The game took place in Very Sunny weather. The game began with a Pitch Invasion; the unruly fans stunned 2 players on each team. The disorderly Orc fans, upset by the lack of Dirty Tricks, throw a rock late in the game, which smashed the knee of Taleg Fangnasha, a Lineorc with the Dirty Trick skill. Despite the strong defense of the Skrewballz the Slayers were able to muster a cage play, after taking the ball in the second half, and wade down the field to score.

Skaven Skrewballz Notes

The Skaven Skrewballz had 1 Star Player gain with Stink Fartletter, a Linerat, gaining Block. The team hired Toxic Bilespew, a Linerat.

Darktower Slayers Notes

The Dartower Slayers had 3 Star Player gains with Nagreg Heartbreaka, a Blitzer, gaining Stand Firm and Ahgza Elfeata, a Blocker, gaining Block. Valg Bowelrippa, a Line Orc gained Block and received a Niggling Injury due to aging. The team hired a Black Orc Blocker, Krag Bonecruncha.



Harbingers of Doom VS Arabica Knights - 09/23/2007

Harbingers of Doom Won

Harbingers of Doom 2 Touchdowns Arabica Knights 1 Touchdowns

$40,000
$60,000
+1 Fan Factor Change 30,000 Gate -1 Fan Factor Change 15,000 Gate

Total Gate 45,000 Fans

Total Winnings $100,000

Harbingers of Doom Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
John El-Whack (Thrower) 1 0 0 0 1 0
Dick Buttkick (Blitzer) 0 1 0 1 0 0
Eugene Rothstein (Lineman) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Bruise Schmidt (Lineman) 0 0 0 1 0 0
O.J. Stabson (Lineman) 0 0 0 1 0 0
Simon Sez-Die (Lineman) 0 0 0 0 0 2

Arabica Knights Game Statistics

Player Name Passes Touchdowns Interceptions Casualties MVP Awards Dirty Tricks
Lord Bean (Lineelf) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Sid Roaster (Lineelf) 1 0 0 0 0 0
Phinian Brewer (Lineelf) 0 0 0 0 1 1
Baron Peaberry (Lion Warrior) 0 1 0 0 0 0
Squire Bean (Lineelf) 1 0 0 0 0 0

Graveyard Entries

No Deaths In This Game

Game Notes

The Harbingers of Doom defeated the Arabica Knights in tough blocking contest. The Harbingers utilized blocking and rushing play against the agile Knights who passed and run the ball, but were not quite able to achieve victory. The Arabica Knights had two Handicap Results gaining an extra Re-Roll and inflicting Bonehead on the Harbingers Lawrence Tailripper, a Blitzer. This had significant impact on play as Lawrence found himself unable to act during many key plays. The game went into sudden death overtime with the Harbingers of Doom managed to score on turn 7 after an arduous march down the field.

Harbingers of Doom Notes

The Harbingers of Doom had 3 Star Player advances with Dick Buttkick, a Blitzer, gaining a +1 Agility and Eugene Rothstein, a Lineman, gaining Block. John El-Whack, a Thrower, gained Safe Throw, but suffered a 1 Movement due to aging.

Arabica Knights Notes

Arabica Knights had 1 Star Player advances with Phinian Brewer, a Lineelf, gaining Block. Rex Ristretto, a Dragon Warrior, was signed to the team.


Transcript Of A Recent Blood Bowl Minute

Announcer: Its time again for another Blood Bowl minute here on the Prison Network, brought to you by, Eternal Legal Services. Get legal services for your natural life with their Cheat the Reaper program. One easy payment of your soul will get their expert services for life. What has the Reaper done for you anyway!? Now here's Chet Ubethcha.

Chet: Hey Posse fans, I have a very special guest today! He has starred in such movie classics as, I'm Gonna Make You Bleed, Chaos Killer, and Eat That! He has won Cabal Vision's Most violent action hero award twice, has been voted MVP in the Annual Bloodwieser Charity Celebrity Bowl two years in a row. He has recently been convicted of the murder of an Imperial Space Marine and now caps a stellar career as a Blitzer for the Death Row Posse. Here he is, heartthrob to many, action icon to the rest, a man whom needs no prison name, Jupiter Jones! Jupiter, welcome to the Paradise Island Penal Colony, I expect you have been well received?

Jupiter: Well yeah, but I got to tell you I shouldn't be here.

Chet: What do you mean?

Jupiter: I mean I didn't kill no Space Marine and I've been framed!

Chet: (laughs) Oh no kidding! So was I! Hell, we are ALL innocent here. To bad it was a Space Marine. The Emperor doesn't like his Marines being murdered, automatic death penalty with no appeal. Yeah, he likes his Marines.

Jupiter: Thank the Gods for the Posse. It turns out that the Warden and Deathrow Don are big fans of mine and offered me a spot on the roster as soon as I got here. Hell, they had a locker ready for me!

Chet: I am a big fan of yours too. Especially since that time you tried to make Tom Cruiser eat the ball during the Celebrity Bowl two years ago!

Jupiter: (laughs) Yeah, I don't think he has had a speaking roll since. I hate posers. He shouldn't have been on the pitch to begin with. You know, everyone has been real nice to me since I got here. I try not to make a big deal of my celebrity status, but it seems to help me here. I mean, like, well, the stories you hear outside about the Colony. This ain't supposed to be a nice place.

Chet: Ahh, your status would normally just make you a target. You are Posse, and NOBODY messes with the Posse! Around here you are Posse, some one the Posse favors or just another inmate. You ARE planning on playing right? That is all the Posse fans really care about.

Jupiter: I don't think I have much choice, do I?

Chet: No, no you don't. That's why the motto is Play to live. What can we expect from you on your first pro start?

Jupiter: You can expect me to play with a vengeance. Gotta keep that spot so I have time to prove my innocence.

Chet: Yeah, you must have a crack legal mind.

Jupiter: What do you mean by that?

Chet: Oh nothing. What do you expect from Rage D'Homme?

Jupiter: ...a bunch of woman who are PMSing I guess. What's with their name anyway? Shouldn't they be Rage D'Femme? I would have gone with Fureur de Femme myself.

Chet: I think it might mean they hate men.

Jupiter: No, I think that would be something like Haine de L'Homme. Maybe it means they are manly woman. I'm confused, maybe one of them will explain it to me at the game. Although, they are not going to like us any more after we kick them around the field.

Chet: Yeah, you better get with them before the game, and before they meet Bob!

Jupiter: Oh yeah, good point. Say did Bob ever get to meet Heather Green?

Chet: (laughs) No, she took a restraining order out on him to try and keep him out of the game to begin with. There was a clerical error and it was served on Shank instead and he missed the game!

Jupiter: Well maybe he will have better luck with the Rage.

Chet: We can only hope. Well we are out of time, good luck with you legal issue and play to live Jupiter. And the rest of you until next time, don't forget to Cheat the Reaper!

Announcer: Cheat the Reaper is copyrighted by Eternal Legal Services. Cheat the Reaper does not apply to capital crimes or appeals of death sentences.


The information presented here is fictional. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.


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